Am I good enough? is the wrong question

Am I good enough?

 

I launched my new fantasy adventure serial this week, you can read it here: Sparrow and Bright.

When editing the story I always found things I wanted to change around, phrases that sounded a bit awkward, story beats that didn’t make sense.

After a bit I got worried. I wondered if people will like my stories, if I have too many mistakes, if I will catch all of my mistakes. And I started thinking the dreaded question: ‘Is it good enough?’, and the natural follow up ‘Am I good enough as a writer?’ After that the spiderweb of questions blossoms, ‘Should I be showing my writing to people now?’, ‘Should I get more feedback?’ etc.

I didn’t get any useful answers, but I did think about my English teaching and saw how my worry was connected to what a lot of students do when learning English. There is a concept called self-correction.

Self-Correction is learning

 

Beginner learners of English make mistakes, for example they may say “I didn’t ate dinner yesterday”. If they don’t notice a mistake, then a teacher has to correct it for them. After that there is a period where they say that sentence, then immediately say “I didn’t eat dinner yesterday”. They notice their mistake in real time and correct it. That is self-correction, and its a really important part of learning a language (anything for that matter).

Now, plenty of students apologise and say sorry or beat themselves up for it. But as an English teacher I always encourage them and explain that’s a really good sign, because it is. Seeing an English learner self-correct is like watching a rock climber test out a hold, realise it’s no good and then find a better one.

If a rock-climber thought that find a better grip was a sign of being a bad rock-climber they would give up climbing. Similarly it’s discouraging for a learner to decide that making mistakes in speaking means they are bad at it. They’re not, they are finding their way.

I think society and some learning methods encourage us to think that making mistakes is bad and that we should be embarrassed about them. But seeing mistakes and self-correction is watching learning in action. You get to see the external signs of internal progress. Never noticing a mistake is what keeps beginners at a beginner level.

When students beat them self up for mistakes, I always remind them why they are in a class. They are there to learn English and get better at it. Self-correction is proof that they are getting better.

What’s the real question?

 

I realised I need to follow my own advice as a teacher, because I am starting something new. The question isn’t ‘Am I good enough?’ the question is ‘Am I doing what I want?’.

What I want is to be writing and sharing my writing. So the answer is yes. That makes me want to do it more. No spiderweb of worries and doubts, just a re-commitment to my goal.

So if you find yourself asking if you are good enough, maybe you could change the question. ‘

‘Am I doing what I want?’

 

If the answer is yes, then it’s all good. If it’s no, then it sounds like you have a new adventure to go on.